Day One: Orange County to Santa Barbara to Cambria

Before we begin our journey, let me start with a simple warning: Don’t buy a car from Stockton to Malone Honda. No, my car did not explode. It did not burst into flame. It worked just fine. Yet the hassles, endless phone calls, missing paperwork, excess fees, and questionable sales tactics (all attributed to the aforementioned car dealership) were left behind today as Mom and I hit the Pacific Coast Highway for a weekend getaway to the central California coast.

Why is Southern California traffic so dense? Hey you guys, it’s super nice outside almost all the time. Maybe we should walk, or ride bikes. Would a solid public transportation system help? Ahh…yes. They tell me that having a car is simply a must in Southern California. Also a must, apparently, is going somewhere at 1pm on a Thursday. Fortunately, once we hit Ventura, the Pacific Ocean was to our left, the sun shining above us, and the traffic behind us.

We lunched at The Endless Summer Café in Santa Barbara, a tasty spot named after the entertaining 1960s surfing documentary. Mom noshed on a Shrimp Louie Salad and I laid into a Cajun Seared Tuna Sandwich as we sat surrounded by surfboards of all shapes, sizes, and colors. Surfboards are tinier than you might think, especially considering that they’re all you have out among the crashing waves. I think that if I were to go surfing, I would want a giant, house-sized surfboard to keep me safe. I will call my creation “boat.”

Next stop was Mission Santa Barbara, known as the “Crown Jewel” of the Spanish Franciscan Missions. They were in the process of filming a new movie for their visitor’s center (which is a good thing, because the current one was like those Church filmstrips from back in the day where you got really excited if you were the one picked to turn the reel when the tape went “beep”). It was a very beautiful and peaceful place that had an awesome “old” smell. I like the smell of old things. Well, not all old things. Books and buildings, yes. Food and people, no.

The sun was low in the sky as we continued up the coast, crashing waves and rolling mountains flanking our path. As we rolled past Cayucos, the last of the day’s light mingled with the ocean mist to create an ominous scene ripe for the opening chapter of a mystery novel. After checking in to the Olallieberry Inn in Cambria, we walked down the street to Linn’s Restaurant. I got the Hearst Burger with smoked gouda and sweet potato fries. Score? 1 on presentation, 9 on taste. Mom had the Very Berry Chicken (which should be renamed Has Some Berries But Not a Lot of Them Chicken). We finished off our meal (and our day) with Olallie Cream Cake. The cake and berry part were okay, but the frosting left a lardy film on one’s gullet. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?